Lately, several people have referred to me as a "successful unschooler", or made similar comments of that type. Recently, someone in their mid-twenties commented that there were few people "our age" at the convention. What??
When I first got a comment about being a "successful unschooler", the first thing that came to mind was that I wasn't finished yet!! So what, I would have graduated from high school last year had I been schooled. That means nothing. I still live at home (I mean come on, I'm only nearly 18!), I don't have a job. The next thing that came to mind, following quickly on the heals of my first thoughts, was what constitutes success? Why was the first thing I thought of for success getting a job? I don't even believe that our wage system is right! So what IS success, and what is my personal success as an unschooler being judged on? I really don't know.
The other comment that really hit home was that about age. People "our age". I don't consider myself an adult yet, although legally, I will be incredibly soon. I know what he meant, in the sense that I am a young adult now, which I suppose does put me in the same category as someone in their twenties. However, it still feels weird. Here's another one. What makes you an adult? I've never been a fan of using purely age as a judge. I'm not a child the day before my 18th birthday, and an adult the next day. Things just don't work that way. I suppose the first thought that comes to mind is that moving out would be a good marker, but I have issues with that as well. What about the people who live with their parents into their thirties? I don't think that they're still children. And besides, in traditional communities, large extended families would often live together. I don't think where you live is an accurate judge at all. So maybe age is just another box that our society has made... Cutting everything into neat categories. Perhaps the only real judge, the only thing that makes someone an adult, is how they feel. Who they feel they are.
If that's the case, I have no clue what I am!
I certainly don't feel like an adult. But neither do I feel like a child. But really, isn't that what the teenage years are or? Transitioning from child to adult? But I don't really feel entirely like I'm in the same boat as many younger teens, either... I have many younger friends, and they're totally awesome, but I guess I feel a bit like I'm further on in that transition, closer to that magical age of Adulthood. Which makes sense, I suppose. Especially lately, now that I'm going through a bit of a period of baby lust, which freaks me out a bit considering I'm still 17!! That isn't an actual issue at all, seeing as I'm single, but in conversations lately on abortion, teen pregnancy, and similar matters, I've realized that at any point from now onwards I would not be upset to be pregnant, and that feels like a pretty big realization.
I don't know what I'm trying to get at at all in this post... I guess I'm just putting my thoughts out, seeing what they look like written down, and if I can glean any further meaning or answers from my tangled thoughts.
In some ways, I really feel like I'm in a big transition. In other ways, I feel like nothing is changing at all. I still need my mom, I don't want to move out. But things are changing. I'm just not sure how much...