What Makes Unschooling Successful? Advice From Grown Life Learners

I’m delighted to be sharing some words from fellow grown unschoolers today, something I’ve been wanting to do more of for a while now. For this post, I asked people to share either something they think their parents did especially well, or an aspect of their experience they found especially positive. The ten responses gathered below are thoughtful and insightful, a collection of anecdotes and advice that I hope will be helpful for parents and carers still in the earlier stages of this journey. I’m always really fascinated seeing what others who grew up with a similar philosophy as my family have to say, and I hope you find these tidbits similarly interesting and helpful.

“[My parents] carefully respected my privacy, especially in my teens, and let me and my brother spend a bunch of time playing video games, reading comics and watching cartoons even as it seemed like the whole world was freaking out. ‘Oh my god, your kids do WHAT all day??’ They just ran with it and looked for the good in whatever we were doing.” -Nola A.

“My mother was completely judgment free about how I spent my time, never criticizing me for spending hours on my computer every day. This allowed me to cultivate many of the interests I hold most dear to this day.

[She] frequently offered my brother and I the chance to go to school if we wanted to, and supported me when I decided to shadow at local high schools as a teenager. I ultimately decided I wanted nothing to do with high school, but many of my unschooling friend's parents had a lot of difficulty when their teenagers expressed interest in high school. Having parental support through considering what school had to offer empowered me to make my own informed decisions about continuing to unschool.

Going to conferences and connecting with other unschoolers was one of the best decisions my mom made. Having the support of other young unschoolers got me through some of the most difficult times in my life. It made me realize I wasn't alone. Meeting grown/older unschoolers at conferences gave me a way to imagine myself as a successful adult- a thing that can be hard when you've never met anyone like you. Around my fellow unschoolers was maybe the first time I ever felt like I truly belonged anywhere other than with my family, like I was entirely celebrated for being myself, and like no one would question me or my right to exist.” -Emmett D.

"The best thing my parents did was let me sleep when I needed to. That meant the world to me." -Rachel H.

“Follow your kids' interests and provide them with resources to find more info. We were all into community theater so our mom would get us books about the plays we were in. When we did Annie Get Your Gun we learned about Annie Oakley, things like that. The trick was to NOT choose the topic for us, but to notice the topics we were already interested in (the plays we were acting in already) and then give us the tools to expand from there.

Relatedly, a story about why you shouldn't force kids to learn. I was late to start reading. My parents were new to homeschooling at the time and my mom got concerned and tried to push it, having me do this horrible reading workbook every day which I absolutely despised. It did not work, I made no progress, I hated it, and my mom probably hated it too, so eventually she stopped pushing it. Pretty much immediately I spontaneously started reading random things I'd see without any prompting. So we all learned that I am incredibly stubborn and that kids learn better when they're not forced to learn.

Make a learning experience out of EVERYTHING. My dad is especially good at this. He actually built the second largest home owned aquarium in the US in our house (huge conversation piece), which requires a lot of upkeep and for many years we'd help him do the iodine testing. That's how I learned, at like 7 years old, that saltwater life (as well as humans) need a very specific amount of iodine - not too much, not too little - to be healthy. He had to do the testing anyway, so he involved us, explaining why he did it, how the chemistry of the testing strips worked, etc.” -Jennifer L.

“The very best thing my mother (specifically) did was pushing us to do everything on our own. Calling to make doctor's appointments, doing our own laundry, taking us to the grocery store and having us weigh the produce (okay, we weren't forced to do that one!), etc. She never hesitated to step in to help if we asked or were really frustrated, but she always had us try before doing things for us. I think this is something a lot of parents are missing (I work in a daycare). Things like having your 2 year old put on their own pants after using the potty, for example, are more important than many would imagine. It not only teaches children real-life skills, it also builds self-confidence and mastery without constant praise (read Punished By Rewards by Alfie Kohn) or inflating self-esteem (which is different than true confidence).” -Casey H.

“Some things I really appreciate that my parents did during our unschooling years:

1. Made sure we had library cards and made going to the library a regular thing.
2. Honoring season rituals and other ways of marking time. I loved the abundance of unstructured time but having a rhythm to the week and season and year is grounding.
3. My parents were able to afford high quality art supplies and we always had access to lots of 'making' supplies which was really wonderful for satisfying creative play.
4. They gave us tools and helped us learn to use them to do stuff on our own: make our own snacks, do our own laundry, dress ourselves, etc. We learned a lot of skills participating in regular housekeeping and self care activities. I have really appreciated those practical skills as an adult.” -Anna CC

“My parents were good at seeing when I seemed to be lacking direction, and asked if more structure would be helpful. They didn't push anything on me, but helped me set goals and gave gentle reminders when I wasn't doing the things that were most important to me for long periods.” -Julian B.

“The best thing my parents did for myself and my sisters by unschooling us was encouraging us to devout our time to what we were passionate about.

I spent my high school years drawing and painting and reading books. I'm in my early twenties now, still working to put myself through college, but I have 5 years teaching experience as an elementary grade art teacher in museums, centers, and public school systems. If I hadn't been unschooled I wouldn't have had the time to devote myself to my art, which is one of the major reasons I've received the scholarships I have for programs and college.” -Ashley H.

“No ‘screen time’ limits. Instead, we used television, movies, the internet, etc. as limitless resources. These were topics of conversation, which turned into interesting tangents about all sorts of subjects, which turned into questions. Depending on the question, we would either talk with each other about our ideas and opinions, or look up the answer online (or both). Limiting resources would limited possibilities for one thing to lead to another this way.” Zoë B.

“Over time, my mother's education mantra became 'the parent/teacher opens the door - it's is the child/learner's decision whether to walk through it'. In other words, I was allowed to try any subject (academic or practical) that I wished, and was often supplied with opportunities for new experiences. It was always my decision whether to participate however, and there was never any pressure on, or judgement of, my decisions.” Flora G.

Grown Unschooler C. Kennedy: "I was unschooled from the day I was born."

A note from Idzie: The first interview with a grown unschooler I ever posted was in 2010. Over the next two years, I was happy to share a total of eight interviews with various adult unschoolers, ranging in age from 17 to 30, and all with such varied and fascinating lives and things to share. Now I'm thrilled, after quite a while without any interviews, to present a new one! The grown unschooler questionnaire still resides under the grown unschoolers section at the top of the blog, and I invite any adult unschoolers to fill it out. Thank you to C. Kennedy for kicking these interviews off once again, and I hope you enjoy reading what she had to say as much as I did!

C. Kennedy is a playwright, puppeteer and Orientation and Mobility Specialist currently bumbling around Philadelphia. In between producing, writing, performing and working for the State of NJ, she enjoys: traveling around the world, learning languages, aerial silks, cooking, reading, and performing as her alter ego, Señor Papos (alongside her partner Jeremy Prouty as La Rosa Peligrosa, Jota). http://cwkennedy.weebly.com for more info.

When did you become an unschooler?

I was unschooled from the day I was born.

How long have you unschooled/did you unschool?

I still consider myself an unschooler. I attended undergrad from when I was 18-21 and grad school from age 25-26. Other than those 4 years, plus one community college class when I was 17, I have never attended any sort of school. 

How old are you now?

29

Do you have any siblings?  If so, did they/do they unschool as well?

One younger brother who was and still is unschooled. He has not been to college.

If your parents chose unschooling, do you know how/why they made that decision?

My mom was the primary factor. She was a grade A student and always considered very bright. When she graduated college she felt as though she knew nothing, and that she had spent her life memorizing things so as to ace a test. She read some Holt, Gatto and the Teenage Liberation Handbook and decided to give my brother and I the option to unschool. My father was supportive. We were both given the option to go to school at any time and chose not to.

What were the challenges you faced, and how did you overcome them?

None really. I had zero problems getting into undergrad or grad school, 3.84 GPA in undergrad, 4.0 in grad school. I have always had lots of friends and activities, a supportive family and have had a really happy life. I'm a theatre artist so I've struggled to make that work financially, but have finally found a part time job where I am financially comfortable and have enough time to pursue my creative work. That doesn't really have anything to do with unschooling though, more to do with how artists are compensated and regarded in our society which is another issue entirely.

What do you think the best thing about unschooling is?

Freedom to pursue your own interests. I love writing/reading and as a child I would read and write for literally entire days. I love that you can manage your own time, which allows you to focus on and accomplish tasks, as well as learn to budget your own time. I'm told by nearly everyone in my adult life that I'm the most highly self-motivated person they know, and that I'm amazing at multi-tasking. I credit this to unschooling entirely.

What do you think the worst (or most difficult) thing about unschooling is?

I don't really have anything negative to say about it. Oh! I was never sitting around bored in class, so I never learned to doodle. I'm terrible at doodling. That is a detriment. My handwriting is also bad because I didn't do handwriting drills. Which isn't really all that bad in our modern computer age, but I do become slightly ashamed of it at times. 

Did you decide to go/are you going to college or university?  If so, could you talk a bit about that experience?

I have an M.S. in Orientation and Mobility. 

Applying for college originally: Took the ACT when I was 15. Got a decent score (26 I think). Decided I would retake only if my college of choice did not accept me. Auditioned for college of choice. Was offered a scholarship based on audition (theater school). Was told I "might need a GED, we are not sure". Took GED and in the meantime, send college a curriculum that my mom and I typed up (basically a book list and list of activities I had done/community college class I had taken). Was accepted into the honors program at the college based on that. Then received my passing GED score which was no longer needed.

Applying for grad school: Took MCAT, scored 96 percentile. Told by admissions that they "love" homeschoolers because they are self motivated. 

Undergrad experience: I was a little nervous at first just because I'd never really written an essay, and had only taken a biology class at community college, no other school-type classes. Overworked myself the first semester and turned in everything way ahead of time/studied frantically. After the first semester I realized I was trying wayyyyyy too hard, relaxed and still continued to get mostly all A's in my classes, without all the freaking out. Didn't really find anything particularly difficult about switching to classroom based learning, although I did find myself easily slipping into "memorize for the test then forget it" type studying. So much easier than actually learning anything! But way more effective in a classroom setting. 

Are you currently earning money in any way?

I work part time as an Orientation and Mobilty Specialist, teaching individuals with blindness or visual impairments travel skills. I also work as a standardized patient, and usually about 2x a year produce a script I've written which doesn't earn me much, but usually breaks even and allows me to pay myself and the performers a small stipend.

What jobs/ways of earning money do you, and have you, had?

Wayyyyy too many. Waitress, actor, acting teacher, HR admin, telemarketer, caterer, haunted trail guide, promo model, standardized patient, orientation and mobility specialist, nanny, and all around craigslist odd job filler.

Have you found work that's fulfilling and enjoyable?

My work as an O&M specialist is fulfilling and enjoyable. I am financially stable and able to save for my future while maintaining flexibility that allows me to pursue my theatre/puppetry work. I find the work challenges me to think about the way we perceive our world, and is highly rewarding as I teach people to travel to the places they want and need to go to in a safe and efficient manner.

Have you found that unschooling has had an impact on how hard or easy it is to get jobs or earn money?

Not really. Being a puppeteer/playwright, yes. Unschooler, no. 

Do you feel that unschooling has had an impact on what methods of earning money or jobs you're drawn to?

Eh, maybe? Hard to say. I'm truly passionate about my artistic life and my life as an O&M instructor. Oh! Sure! I was never content settling for a job I didn't enjoy fully, or wasn't financially secure in. I would say unschooling probably assisted me in not settling for a job I'm not fulfilled by/can't grow in, and also has given me a firm foundation in keeping my artistic life alive.

What impact do you feel unschooling has had on your life?

Nothing but positives. I'm self motivated, and consider myself a lifelong learner. Last year I learned arial silks and trapeze, the two years before, Spanish. This year it's Italian. I try to learn something new all the time.

If you could go back in time, is there anything about your learning/educational journey that you'd change?

I'd make myself start learning Spanish earlier. I wasn't really motivated to do that as a kid. Oh well. I've learned it now and am working on Italian. After that, French. Hopefully German too before it's all said and done. Most people I know don't know a second language, so I don't feel behind. It's just I think it would have been easier to learn when I was younger.

If you have children, are they unschooled?  Alternately, if you were to have children, would you choose to unschool them?

If I do in the future, definitely.

What advice would you give to teens looking to leave high school?

Read the Teenage Liberation Handbook/John Taylor Gatto/John Holt. Educate yourself on what unschooling means, and make an informed presentation to your parents. Find other unschoolers online and have them talk to your parents. Write me and tell me to talk to your parents! kennedy.candra@gmail.com

What advice would you give to someone looking to skip, or to drop out of, college or university?

If college is being paid for in full by a scholarship/amazingly rich parents, then go. Get it over with and get your degree in whatever. It will give you a leg up in applying for anything even outside your field. It may not be the most enjoyable, but if you're not going into debt over it, than it will be worth it. I don't really use my undergrad degree, but I sure am glad I had it when I went to get my Grad degree.

If you have to foot the bill then think second thoughts. What do you really want to do? Does it absolutely require a college degree (med school? law school in most states?)? If it absolutely requires it and you are sure that's what you want to do, then you need to keep going.

If you're not sure what you want to go into/your field does not necessarily require a degree, then hit the pause button. Maybe spend a year interning part time (whatever you can afford. intern one day a week and work the rest, or whatever you need to do) in whatever it was you were getting a degree for, see if it really fits you. Then if you absolutely have to have a degree to go into it, back to school you go. But you may be able to get into the field without a degree.

Take community college courses. Every single one you can. Way cheaper. Make sure the credits transfer to whatever school you're going to.

What advice would you give to unschooling parents (or parents looking into unschooling)?

Trust. Read the Teenage Liberation Handbook/John Taylor Gatto/John Holt. Educate yourself on what unschooling means. Find other unschoolers online talk to them. Write me and talk to me!  kennedy.candra@gmail.com

Grown Unschooler Chloe Anne Spinnanger: "The best thing about unschooling is freedom!"

Remember that grown unschooler questionnaire I posted quite a while back, the one that lead to the publishing of a lovely bunch of interviews with grown unschoolers? Well now I am thrilled to be resurrecting that series, with this interview with Chloe! I hope you enjoy reading it, and if you're a grown unschooler, I hope you'll consider filling out the questionnaire and becoming part of this series as well. And now, I'll hand things over to Chloe:

I am Chloe, I have been educating myself since I was 9 years old. Instead of schoolwork or "homework" I spent my time doing other things. 

Instead of Phys. Ed. I was riding my bike with my brothers or friends every day, and hiking in the woods with my dad and  my dog. Instead of English class,  I read Jack London and Anne Rice and Shakespeare (among countless others), and when I was twelve I wrote a two hundred page Adventure novel with characters based on friends. I then got myself a copy of the current writers and illustrators market and learned about how to get a book edited and published. Instead of science, I watched the Crocodile Hunter religiously, I read the origin of species, and numerous zoology books from the library, and then I went outside and hunted down frogs, salamanders,turtles, snakes, I taught myself how to identify them, and where they lived. I  had the time for many  "Extra-curricular activities" such as volunteering at the library, horseback riding, martial arts classes, training my dog, tye dying tee shirts, going to music festivals, museums, or just to the park to play, hike, or swim. 

Now I am an adult but I still feel like a kid, and an unschooler, because my learning didn't stop when I walked out of school. I am always learning, I am always seeking out what I want to know, what I want to do, and how I can make a difference in the world. Unschooling has made me who I am, and I am an unschooler for life.

When did you become an unschooler?

 4th grade officially, I realized it at about 12. 

How long have you unschooled/did you unschool?

 10 years.

How old are you now?

20.

Do you have any siblings?  If so, did they/do they unschool as well?

Yes I have two younger brothers who have never been to school in their lives.

If your parents chose unschooling, do you know how/why they made that decision?

At the time I think I was too busy enjoying life to pay attention to my parents motives, but I can say that I know their decision was influenced a lot by other local families who unschooled.

If you chose to leave school, can you talk a bit about what led to that decision, and how the actual process of leaving went (how did your parents, friends, teachers, etc. react?  What were the challenges you faced, and how did you overcome them?).

My parents made the ultimate decision, but I was fine with that! I was lucky enough to be leaving school in the same year as two of my best friends, who's parents were also deciding to home school. So I was pretty fearless about leaving, I couldn't wait.

I remember being so happy that I was going on summer vacation and never coming back, I told all my teachers, I don't remember their reactions but I wish I did.

What do you think the best thing about unschooling is?

The best thing about unschooling is freedom! The freedom of your mind: The freedom to read what you want, do what you love, be friends with anyone you want, follow your dreams, and to question anything. The freedom of your own time, to pursue what you want. The freedom of being able to live life in the real world instead of just preparing for it. 

What do you think the worst (or most difficult) thing about unschooling is?

Probably other people's ignorance and closed mindedness. Schools train us so well to believe that we cannot learn or be successful without them, and it's difficult to tell people who think this way that you don't do schoolwork at all.

Did you decide to go/are you going to college or university?  If so, could you talk a bit about that experience?

I went to college for two years and just recently took a semester off. I really just wanted to try it out of curiosity. I was very excited, and loved most of my classes. 

Did you decide not to go to college or university?  If so, could you talk a bit about that experience, and what (if anything) you decided to do differently instead of college?

I decided to stop at the moment to step back and decide what I want to do with my life. I don't look at college as the only option for creating a happy and successful life. If I decide to become an English teacher or a zoologist, then I'll be going back to College. If I decide to become a novelist, a world traveler, or a farmer I will have no use for it.  

Are you currently earning money in any way?

I am currently working for my boyfriend's family's business in which we do catering making pizza on a firetruck. It is a lot of fun!

What jobs/ways of earning money do you, and have you, had?

My first job was as a volunteer at a local horse farm when I was 12, it was hard work and long hours but I loved it more than anything, I learned about working as well as learning about caring for, riding and training horses. If I had been in school I would not have had nearly as much time to spend doing this. 

I worked in a small pet store when I was sixteen, I worked there for two years and made some lifelong friends in the process. I was able to work a lot more hours than the other high school age kids working there. 

When the first pet store I worked at closed, I worked at Petsmart, doing dog training and grooming, but I ended up leaving because I hated being told what color socks to wear and having a script to spout to each and every customer. 

I have also done waitressing for the past two years, along with numerous other restaurant jobs, which is a little hectic but good money and sometimes a lot of fun!

Have you found work that's fulfilling and enjoyable?

Yes. Because of my working experience I know how important it is to me to have a job that I really enjoy, something which I can dedicate myself to. 

Have you found that unschooling has had an impact on how hard or easy it is to get jobs or earn money?

 I never once had a potential employer look down upon the fact that I did not go to high school, And when I was younger I had a huge advantage being able to work weekday hours, when the high school kids had to give up their weekends. 

Do you feel that unschooling has had an impact on what methods of earning money or jobs you're drawn to?

Unschooling has taught me to be self motivated and to do what makes me happy. I never had someone telling me that work isn't supposed to be fun, and so I only sought out and kept jobs which I enjoyed.

What impact do you feel unschooling has had on your life?

 I can't imagine what I would be like if I had gone to school! I know I would be less mature, due to cliques etc. Thanks to unschooling I didn't have to try to impress anyone, and I become friends with whoever I like.

 I know that I would not read as much as I do. My appetite for reading would be suffocated by being forced to read things that are not of my choosing and having no time to read the things that truly interest me thanks to 6 hours a day or more spent in school as well as homework.  

I would not be so independent in seeking out the things that I am interested in.

I would not question authority as much, or at all. 

If you could go back in time, is there anything about your learning/educational journey that you'd change?

 I would have kept doing Ballet, which I gave up on when I was 13 because I saw that most girls had been doing it since they were very young and I had not. But I love Ballet and wish so much that I had kept to it.

If you have children, are they unschooled?  Alternately, if you were to have children, would you choose to unschool them?

I cannot wait to unschool my own children someday! It is one thing that is very, very important to me.

What advice would you give to teens looking to leave high school?

Read the Teenage Liberation Handbook by Grace Llewellyn!! It is inspiring and funny, and full of resources! It will give you the information to know what you are doing, as well as the confidence to do it.

What advice would you give to someone looking to skip, or to drop out of, college or university?

Follow your dreams! What do you love most in the world? What could you spend your life doing that would make you happy every single day? Do that! And if College is needed, then go, if not don't go!

What advice would you give to unschooling parents (or parents looking into unschooling)?

Also read the Teenage Liberation Handbook, it is written for teens but it is a wonderful book for parents as well. Also try Dumbing us Down by John Taylor Gatto. Go to some conferences, meet some local unschoolers (because there are more of them than you think!). Think about your own values, what kind of people do you want your children to grow up to be? Independent, self driven thinkers and learners?  The first thing to do is educate yourself about it. 

Is there anything else you'd like to talk about or add?

I am forever thankful to my mother, for always believing in myself and my brothers, for educating us in ways school never could, and for showing us what life is about. I only hope I can be as good as you someday.

Against the Grain: Listen to the Podcast on The Unschooler Experiment!

I fell down on the job these last few days what with Christmas and all, but as I'm sure you'll notice my last several posts were of the essays being published on The Unschooler Experiment as part of the Week of the Idzie.  You can find a list of all those essays here, and as of today you can also listen to me read them all on The Unschooler Experiment podcast!  Check it out:

Interviewed on The Unschooler Experiment Podcast #14: Not Alone in the Woods

Not too long ago I had a very nice conversation with Peter Kowalke, creator of the Grown Without Schooling documentary, writer/editor of the blog The Unschooler Experiment, and producer of a podcast of the same name.  And now that conversation is featured in The Unschooler Experiment Podcast #14: Not Alone in the Woods.  Listen by clicking the link just provided, or the below photo.

 

As usual when I do any type of interview, I always start thinking, as soon as I've finished, of all the things I wish I'd said differently.  However, I genuinely enjoyed this conversation, so I think that's probably a good sign! Let me know what you think.

Grown Unschooler Tara Wagner: "Amazing things happen inside of freedom."

This is the latest in an ongoing series of interviews with grown unschoolers.  Read more here!  Are you a grown unschooler yourself?  If so, I invite you to participate in this project.

And now, I'm very happy to introduce Tara, someone who's blog and photography I've long admired. 

Tara Wagner is a mother and a lover, a writer and an organic life coach, specializing in life learning, organic parenting and authentic living. She currently travels the US with her husband and son in a truck converted to run on veggie oil and a solar-powered RV. You can find her blogging at TheOrganicSister.com and SustainableBabySteps.com.

When did you become an unschooler?
I "officially" left school about half way through 9th grade, but mentally I had begun checking out a few years before.

How long have you unschooled/did you unschool? I was out of school for the rest of what would have been my high school years. Instead of college, I chose massage school and self-education for entrepreneurship from there.

How old are you now?
29

If your parents chose unschooling, do you know how/why they made that decision?
My mom didn't choose it but she supported my choice under the belief that "school is not for everyone" and with the ideal that I can create my own success.

If you chose to leave school, can you talk a bit about what led to that decision, and how the actual process of leaving went (how did your parents, friends, teachers, etc. react?  What were the challenges you faced, and how did you overcome them?).
I had enjoyed school and schoolwork until about 7th grade. But changing schools had confused the administration and they began putting me in classes I had already taken. I got incredibly bored and was no longer challenged or having fun. I was also not meshing with the dramatic high school "scene" and felt most comfortable around adults.

By 9th grade my favorite and best subject (English) became my least favorite. Instead of doing what I wanted to do - write and read - I was relearning capitalization and trying to convince the teacher I'd known the difference between a question mark and an exclamation mark since the 2nd grade. (The teacher told me if that were true I wouldn't be in her class and the school admin told me it was up to the teacher to decide if I needed a different class.)

My transition out of school started with me skipping classes, and only attending the ones I enjoyed or was challenged by (this was where my interest in science and computers began). They tend to frown upon selective attendance, so they suspended me.

I think I asked my mom if I could be homeschooled, but there was never any thought of doing school at home. We had never heard of unschooling and didn't tap into any homeschooling communities. As such I think many people looked at me as a "dropout" although I never felt like one. I felt very strongly that I was opting out, and with my mom's support, I felt  empowered by that.

I think the biggest challenge I faced was in overcoming the mentality of my peers. Since we never got involved with other homeschoolers and had never heard of unschooling, I was still spending my time with the same friends and mentally still involved in the same high school drama. My views were limited by their views and didn't expand until years later when I started to seek out new information or ideas and ways to live.

Since I've come to see unschooling as a way in which we live, ultimately I think I was deschooling through high school. I made a lot of unhealthy choices in an effort to regain my autonomy and the experiences gave me a lot of contrast, showing me what I no longer wanted to have as part of my life.

What do you think the best thing about unschooling is?
Just one? I guess I'd say it comes down to the freedom: the freedom to create your own life, to heal, to grow unhindered, to explore without imposed limitations. Amazing things happen inside of freedom.

What do you think the worst (or most difficult) thing about unschooling is?
I think going against the norm and doing so without support can be especially challenging. If a person lives in an area without a local unschooling community they might be more susceptible to criticism or pressure to fall in line with the rest of society's ways of thinking. 

Did you decide not to go to college or university?  If so, could you talk a bit about that experience, and what (if anything) you decided to do differently instead of college?
I didn't have the need for college for the work I wanted to do at the time (massage therapy) so I chose massage school instead.

I later opened my own business without a business degree or any real training and quickly came to feel as though most of what I might spend tens of thousands of dollars on in college would be a waste of time when I could learn it myself. Especially in this day and age of open-source learning and the endless resources available to us, college is only one way of obtaining it.

That's not to say that I won't at some point decide to take courses. But I don't feel the need for a degree for the things I want to be doing in my life. I don't and have never seen the need for someone else to approve of what I know or can do and unless I someday decide to be a doctor, I don't see that changing.

Are you currently earning money in any way?
Yup!

What jobs/ways of earning money do you, and have you, had?
As a teen I had several entry-level positions as a cashier or office assistant. I didn't last long because I didn't enjoy the job or the money I was making and wanted something more for myself. Once I knew I didn't need high school like I was told I did, I soon came to realize I don't need anything else that doesn't work for me, either.

Now I'm an entrepreneur: I'm a writer and blogger, photographer, unschooling coach, massage therapist, and freelancer. I do the things that bring me passion and don't feel as though I need to or should choose one field. The world is too big and there is too much to do to pick just one passion.

Have you found work that's fulfilling and enjoyable?
Most definitely. I love what I do and I'm sure it will change and evolve as I do.

Have you found that unschooling has had an impact on how hard or easy it is to get jobs or earn money?
Not really, not the way I view unschooling. I don't think "unschooling" created me or gave me an ability. I think it simply gave me the freedom to create myself and supported my innate abilities. Whereas schooling or limited mentalities got in my way, unschooling stays out of my way.

Do you feel that unschooling has had an impact on what methods of earning money or jobs you're drawn to?
Yes. I don't feel as though I "have to" be tied down to something I don't enjoy. I don't feel as though I should settle or "be grateful" just because. And I desire a lot of creative freedom. I haven't worked for someone else in about ten years and I would have a very difficult time doing it again without that creative freedom and autonomy.

What impact do you feel unschooling has had on your life?
A huge one. It's impacted every facet of my life, from my relationship with my spouse, to my parenting, and life's work, to my outlook on politics and health and social issues.

I base everything off of freedom, support of the whole person and living without conditions or fears.

If you could go back in time, is there anything about your learning/educational journey that you'd change?
Ultimately, I don't think I would, although I do wonder what would have been different had I left school earlier or connected with the broader world outside of school after I left. But I do think that my experiences shaped me and that the contrast helped me grow.

If you have children, do you unschool them?
Yes, although we came to it late.

Zeb (now 11) was in a private school for a couple years, which was not a healthy experience for him. Although I had left school as a teen, I still had limited views around *when* a person could leave the system (as in, "Sure, school is not for everyone, but you have to learn the basics first.") I still had a lot of deschooling to do. :)

But my foundation helped me to embrace it quickly. Soon after we withdrew him, I began to trust not only my intuition around learning (free schools have always appealed to me) but also my child's natural instincts and passions.

What advice would you give to teens looking to leave high school?
Trust your instincts. Try new things. Get connected with new people. Put yourself out there. Take your time. Hurry up.

Life is full of so many opportunities, most of them hidden and requiring your passionate pursuit of them.

What advice would you give to someone looking to skip, or to drop out of, college or university?
The same advice I'd give to anyone making any decision. College is one route. It doesn't negate or guarantee any other route. Trust your instinct. Go after what you want. And don't fall into the trap of listening to other people's fears. Or your own, for that matter.

What advice would you give to unschooling parents (or parents looking into unschooling)?
Slow down, and spend a lot more time on building connection and trust than anything else.

Then start building upon interests, inviting new things and people into your lives, and creating a rich environment in which the whole family will thrive. Don't get wrapped up in the fears of others and don't project your own fears or beliefs or desires on your kids.

Is there anything else you'd like to talk about or add?
Don't let a label define you. The unschooling label can be freeing...or it can be binding. Instead of embracing a label, embrace the way you and others want to feel - joyful, connected, adventurous? Focus on those things and let freedom, trust and compassion be your cornerstones.

Grown Unschooler Vanessa Wilson: "As an unschooled kid, the world is full of so much that a school cannot give."

I invite you to participate in this project if you're a grown unschooler, and I invite everyone who's interested in reading more about grown unschoolers to check out this list of interviews.  Enjoy!

I am the self-designin', life-lovin', free mama to 3: Kassidy (5.1999), Noble (3.2007), and Najaia (9.2009). I have many interests that include personal growth, spirituality, beauty, simplicity, creative outlets, crafting, and other DIY projects. We are a whole-life unschooling family, and I walk a path toward gentle parenting while I undo the tangles of my past. We generally value natural and sustainable living, so this is very reflected in some areas of our life and in some areas or choices not so much -- without judgment. We are enjoying liberating ourselves from "villainous thinking" about all kinds of things that bring us joy. We are a very eclectic family, as we pick and chose what fits for each of us at any given moment. We strive to listen to our inner selves over outer "experts" -- some of us have an easier time of this, but it sure is fun peeling back the layers and resituating paradigms :) Community is very important to us and we look forward to living communally in a tight-knit tribe -- more than ever since gathering a couple times a week with our local radical unschooling group!

 
When did you become an unschooler?
Halfway through my freshmen year of high school, my mom took me and my brother out of school to homeschool on the road (we had homeschooled before), while she worked at super sales and state fairs. Our travels ended up being our curriculum.

How long have you unschooled/did you unschool?
Ever since, even though I chose to do an adult high school program 3 years later and go on to college about 5 years after attaining my diploma.

How old are you now?
31

Do you have any siblings?  If so, did they/do they unschool as well?
I have a younger brother who lived and travelled with us and unschooled. He was 6 years younger than me, and he went back to public school seamlessly.

If your parents chose unschooling, do you know how/why they made that decision?
Like I said, my mom just didn't do curriculum, mostly because we were so busy living. She had never heard of the term "unschooling" until I found it and started with my kids.

What do you think the best thing about unschooling is?
I attribute unschooling to my insatiable love of learning, both in life and in formal education. It was done for intrinsic reasons, totally self-guided.

What do you think the worst (or most difficult) thing about unschooling is?
The hardest part for me was not feeling like it was "normal". I didn't know anyone else who did it, and I got the impression from society that mom was just irresponsible and crazy-unconventional.

Did you decide to go/are you going to college or university?  If so, could you talk a bit about that experience?
I did decide to go to college. I LOVED the community college level (as was evident in my 3.79 gpa), but once I transferred to the university level, it became more about the degree than the wonderful stuff that it had been about before, and I slowly did worse and worse. I got accepted to a school for my master's degree and decided to not go and live some life. I'd like to go back to school someday, maybe. But I know I don't need it to be successful, to live a rich and fulfilling life, and I don't give my kid's these impressions either.

Do you feel that unschooling has had an impact on what methods of earning money or jobs you're drawn to?
Absolutely! I can only work a job that is intrinsically rewarding, and I know that I will always be okay by following my passions. My idea of a "career" is combining as many of my interests into money-making forms, and is totally unconventional. But the best part is that I am comfortable with the fact that this will probably change over and over as I live.

What impact do you feel unschooling has had on your life?
One of the biggest. I have already said that I attribute it to my insatiable love of learning, but it is also one of the most learning-filled times of my life. Those 3 years that we traveled were full of so much people-learning, as we visited a new state almost every week (or sometimes worked a state fair that lasted a month or so at a time). I spent so much time getting to learn about people and the different cultures of America. Because we were often at state fairs, we got to see the "best" of each culture. We traveled and got to see so many places and learned about the history of this country first-hand. It has impacted how I raise my children -- we unschool and are currently making plans to buy a home on wheels and travel until we decide not to, and see whatever our wheels will take us to see. 

If you could go back in time, is there anything about your learning/educational journey that you'd change?
The only thing I might change (but I love my journey and wouldn't REALLY change anything) is I would have learned about the term unschooling sooner, and maybe been introduced to authors like John Holt.

If you have children, are they unschooled?  Alternately, if you were to have children, would you choose to unschool them?
I do have kids. I was a single mom with my oldest, so didn't think it was possible to homeschool her, until my son was born and I found a way to stay home, and I've found a way since :) We are going on 4 years :))

What advice would you give to teens looking to leave high school?
Just do it. Find support of some kind, and never look back :)) 

What advice would you give to someone looking to skip, or to drop out of, college or university?
Follow your heart. There are SO many other ways to learn (that are cheaper!) and to earn a living. You can go back if you REALLLLY want to.

What advice would you give to unschooling parents (or parents looking into unschooling)?
As an unschooled kid, the world is full of so much that a school cannot give -- depth and breadth barely recognized. As a fellow unschool parent, I would say research your doubts because you will probably find that those things aren't really a problem once you've heard some differing perspectives on it all. The Internet makes all things possible :))

Grown Unschooler Jasmine Carlson: "You don't feel pressured to 'be' something, you are allowed the space and time to create."

This continues to be an exciting project to me, and I'd love to keep it going for as long as possible!  So if you're a grown unschooler, think about joining in.  You also might want to read more interviews with grown unschoolers.  Now, meet Jasmine Carlson:

I now live in a co-housing community with my family. We take others into our community to teach them how to unschool their lives. I have traveled all over the place and feel that unschooling made it so that I was not just a visitor, but I was able to learn from people and the cultures that I was around.  I can honestly say that they have become a part of me. Unschooling made it so that I birthed my son at home, rejecting yet again another institution. Of course I blog both my rants (www.herscreed.blogspot.com), and on fitness (www.fitmama.blogspot.com), which is one of my passions.

When did you become an unschooler? 

I have been an unschooler all of my life.
 

How long have you unschooled/did you unschool? 

Pretty much what what most people would call the 12 years of required schooling but I would say that I am still an unschooler.

How old are you now? 

25

Do you have any siblings?  If so, did they/do they unschool as well? 

I have a brother and two sisters and yes, they were also unschooled.

If your parents chose unschooling, do you know how/why they made that decision? 

My parents have never been very conventional. Unschooling just "fit" us. I am not sure when the decision was actually made, it was just part of the natural process. We didn't even know what it was called until my mom read a book years later that detailed exactly what we had been doing for years. 

What do you think the best thing about unschooling is? 
You have the ability to learn what you want to learn when you want to learn it. You can move at your own pace. You don't feel pressured to "be" something, you are allowed the space and time to create things.
  

What do you think the worst (or most difficult) thing about unschooling is? 
It can be lonely. Like every other controversial or little understood way of doing things you find that people can be very critical.

Did you decide to go/are you going to college or university?  If so, could you talk a bit about that experience? 

I went to a language school. It was quite structured but it did focus just on the language I was learning, which in some ways made it feel like my type of schooling, because I wasn't learning a bunch of random things that I wasn't there to learn. 

Did you decide not to go to college or university?  If so, could you talk a bit about that experience, and what (if anything) you decided to do differently instead of college? 

Like I stated above, I went to language school and I continue to educate myself by reading extensively and learning from people in specific fields. I may "go to school" online at some point just because I enjoy learning so much. If I do it will be for a focused area of study.

Are you currently earning money in any way? 

No, not really. Working on starting a business right now and I am a full time stay at home mom to a 2 1/2 year old boy. 

What jobs/ways of earning money do you, and have you, had? 

I have played music, done TONS of volunteer work, worked at a bank, worked for a coffee shop, worked for a non-profit, worked for a greenhouse... 

Have you found work that's fulfilling and enjoyable? 

Yes. 

Have you found that unschooling has had an impact on how hard or easy it is to get jobs or earn money?  

Yes. It is fairly easy. I am good with people and am able to learn things quickly.

Do you feel that unschooling has had an impact on what methods of earning money or jobs you're drawn to?

Oh yeah. No question about it. I am drawn to things that draw on creativity. I also love a challenge and get bored easily.

What impact do you feel unschooling has had on your life? 

I am not afraid to try new things or meet new people. I enjoy a challenge and am never afraid to learn something new. Learning comes fairly easily. I am bored easily with the conventional. I expect people to be more open and honest than most people are able to be. 

If you could go back in time, is there anything about your learning/educational journey that you'd change? 

No. I don't think so. 

If you have children, do you unschool them? 

I do have a son and yes I am unschooling him.

What advice would you give to teens looking to leave high school? 

Go for it! Give it a try. Honestly you have nothing to lose. You will be stepping in to the best type of education that you can give yourself.  

What advice would you give to someone looking to skip, or to drop out of, college or university? 

Once again I say, go for it! Give it a try even if it is just for a year. You will come back knowing what you want to do and how you want to go about learning it. In the meantime you won't be wasting any time if you choose to use the time intentionally. 

What advice would you give to unschooling parents (or parents looking into unschooling)? 

It will probably scare you at first. You will wondering if you are "ruining" your children. Create opportunities. Be open and honest with your children. Unschooling will be just as much a learning adventure for you as it will be for your children. Look at it as continuing education for yourself!

Grown Unschooler Cheyenne La Vallee: "Everyone has it in themselves to be passionate and motivated. "

Welcome to the latest interview with a grown unschooler!  If you'd like to participate in this project, go here, and if you'd like to read other interviews with grown unschoolers, go here.  And now, meet Cheyenne La Vallee:

I am a Skwxwú7mesh-Kwakwaka’wakw youth from British Columbia. I have been raised in the Skwxwú7mesh (Squamish) community of Xwmelch’stn (Capilano) in North Vancouver, but my ancestry also comes from the Kwakwaka’wakw nation on northern Vancouver Island. For the past year, I've been working with my brother, sister and other community members to revive our culture, our language and traditions. Specifically the work I've been doing involves urban agriculture, community gardens and traditional plant knowledge.

When did you become an unschooler?
I became an unschooler when I read Grace Llewelyn’s the Teenage Liberation Handbook at 13 years old and then left school shortly after. But honestly, everyone is born with the abilities an unschooler has, it just gets beaten out of us after a few years of schooling and consuming mainstream media. Everyone has it in themselves to be passionate and motivated.

How long have you unschooled/did you unschool?
I’ve been unschooling for 4 years now.

How old are you now?
I’m seventeen years old.

If you chose to leave school, can you talk a bit about what led to that decision, and how the actual process of leaving went (how did your parents, friends, teachers, etc. react? What were the challenges you faced, and how did you overcome them?).
Around the time I left school, my mother became an elected official in our community and I was beginning to pay attention to the conversations that were going on around me, as well as in the world. I began to become aware of the common ideas or notions I was being told throughout my life were not true at all, so when my brother handed me the Teenage Liberation Handbook one afternoon, it was like another piece of the puzzle. It was also the sanest idea I ever heard!

Not everyone agreed, especially not my mom. She gave me an ultimatum, back to school or get a job, which never came into effect. I faced a lot of resistance from older family members and friends’ parents. It was hectic in my relationships afterwards, which is understandable; it was incredibly abnormal. I was 13 years old and no one could persuade, threaten, or bribe to go back to school. I had a strong will and was choosing for myself what kind of life I wanted to live. In retrospect, I probably would have approached people differently.

What do you think the best thing about unschooling is?
To unschool is to live. That’s it plain and simple. It’s to feel the fire in the belly and your mind explode; it’s to sit in the living room on a snowy night with a cup of tea while reading your favourite book until wee hours in the morning. It’s to wake up at 5 am to watch the sun rise and then go back to bed. It’s having that stranger sitting beside you become your best friend for the next hour. It’s going on a crazy adventure to listen to your favourite author talk in the next city. It’s volunteering at the art gallery or anarchist bookstore. Its life: anything you want it to be.

The canoe races this summer and a part of my canoe family.

What do you think the worst (or most difficult) thing about unschooling is?
In the beginning of my unschooling journey, I had many questions (what, where, how) and no tools to find the answers. I also had very little support or understanding from the people I needed it most from. Being shut down after trying to bring up the idea really makes one feel hopeless, especially when I was doing it mostly alone.

What jobs/ways of earning money do you, and have you, had?
My first job was an anti-oppression, arts-based employment-training program, being offered by this youth-run, arts/media centre. After that, I worked for a local community garden, mainly taking care of the garden, weeding and planting, but also asking questions whenever I could. The last job I had been with a non-profit, Environmental Youth Alliance, as an intern for six-months. It was such a rewarding job. There were roughly 12 interns, including myself, taking care of three community gardens E.Y.A. managed in the Downtown Eastside. I learned more about the city I live in, other ways of living and eating, gardening, and how valuable community places are.

Have you found work that's fulfilling and enjoyable?
I definitely have!

Have you found that unschooling has had an impact on how hard or easy it is to get jobs or earn money?
I think it has made finding work easier for me. I only apply for jobs that I have an interest in, or at least a reason for applying, like it helps me save up for a goal. My enthusiasm comes out and I find it increases my likelihood of getting the job.

Do you feel that unschooling has had an impact on what methods of earning money or jobs you're drawn to?
The material I’ve read/found online, like Grace Llewelyn’s The Teenage Liberation handbook, Blake Bole’s College Without High School and his website, Zero Tuition College as well as other unschooling blogs has helped me figure out different ways of doing things in general. It also helped me understand getting a minimum wage job isn’t the only option I have. There are other ways of getting money to do cool things.

What impact do you feel unschooling has had on your life?
It has been an extremely positive one. It has helped me cross that superficial realm in what it means to be an indigenous woman living in modern times. Before all I knew about who I was, where I come from, and what I wanted to be was driven by school and my peers, which is a pretty horrible place to figure out who you are. The main goal of school and mainstream media, especially for First Nations people, is to assimilate us into Western society. After leaving school, I started to become more involved in the community, participating in culture events, and taking an active step in learning my language, territory and politics.

My brother, sister and I.

If you could go back in time, is there anything about your learning/educational journey that you'd change?
No, there isn’t anything I’d change, I don’t think I would have as much understanding of how life is without the mistakes and challenges I’ve faced. Even if I might have missed an opportunity because of not doing anything seemingly productive, there is and will always be millions more to come.

If you were to have children, would you choose to unschool them?
Without a doubt, I would never send my children to compulsory schools. It goes against my entire life!

What advice would you give to teens looking to leave high school?
Be gentle on yourself, but be courageous. Listen to the people who question whether you are doing something right or wrong and then move on. Only you can define your life.