Images of Spring

Yesterday, my mother and I went for a walk.  I took my camera.  It was a truly lovely day!

We saw new shoots emerging...

Leaves unfurling...

Plants growing everywhere...

The sun shining on old rosehips and new buds.

The sun made everything bright and hazy to my camera lense.

We wondered what was wrong with these berries, that the birds never ate them in the Fall!

It was a windy day, and the water was curling into small waves as it hit the shore.

I love the pattern of branches on sky.

New buds on windblown branches.

The moon in a bright blue sky.

This bird, a Mourning Dove, sits on the wire outside our house almost every day, singing her sweet, melancholy song...

When I don't spend time outside every day, I feel like I'm not living life properly.  Yet at the same time, taking walks often saddens me.  So much development, pavement, cars, and lonely patches of bedraggled woods.  Things aren't the way they're supposed to be.  But a sunny day is still beautiful...

Peace,
Idzie

Bright Spring days, and long Summer nights...

Today was the first day that I could wear Summer cloths outside and still be comfortable. It was wonderful, bright, sunny, warm... I sat on the front steps, soaking up the sun, then walked down to the park and swung. I love swinging. It's one of the things I miss most in the Winter time, swinging. Then I took a walk with friends. Not long after I got home, the sun set. I watched it's light fade with sadness... But now, I'm glad it's night time, although the temperature is considerably colder now. And I'm feeling a deep longing in my heart for Summer nights. Sitting around with a bunch of friends at past eleven at night, talking and laughing. Truth or Dare games in the dark, that quiet down with loud hushing and smothered giggles as soon as a parent comes near... Walking around the streets at past midnight, walking through pools of light cast off by streetlamps, talking about deep, profound things... Lying around in people piles on the lawn, staring at the stars... Sitting on top of the car in the middle of the night listening to the wind, and feelings the spirits pass through the trees... I can't put into words how much I love Summer nights. And I know they're coming soon. Spring awakens such joy in me, such love for life. I love seeing all the new life, feeling it all. And I love that Summer comes next, with long, hot days spent in the sunlight or the shade, watching the sun set from the front steps, which give off stored heat from the day long after the sun is gone, followed by long nights, friends, laughter, stars... The house still smells of outdoors now, even though the windows have been closed against colder temperatures. I love Spring. I love Summer. I love life. And I just felt a need to put some of my joy into words, or at least attempt to. I hope everyone else is loving Springtime as much as I am, and I can't help but wish that those wonderful Summer nights are coming very soon!

Peace,
Idzie

Life is good

Life really feels good today.

I actually feel like I have a social life now (*gasp* ;-)), which feels rather odd. :-P I've been talking to friends every day, hanging out with more people... I'm an introvert who has a phobia of trying new things, and is a bit of a homebody, so in the past I've made myself a bit of a hermit at times. Not now! Maybe Spring has something to do with it... Either way, this makes me very happy. :-) Now I just need to actually meet/see my friends who happen to live far away!

It's bright and sunny, still cold, but purple crocuses are blooming on the lawn. Robin's peck around for worms, and the grass is starting to grow. Spring is here in full force! While Ty was here, my focus moved away from more political things, and afterwards for a bit, things stayed that way. But I finally started reading Ishmael, and once again I feel impassioned by my political beliefs. Ishmael, by Daniel Quinn, could best be described as a critique of civilization, told in the form of a gorilla teaching a man to see what those of us in this society so rarely do. I love how Quinn looks at things from such a different angle than Jensen does, yet has just as wonderful insights and thought provoking things to say. There are a multitude of great quotes in Ishmael, one of which is this:

"The people of your culture cling with fanatical tenacity to the specialness of man. They want desperately to perceive a vast gulf between man and the rest of creation. This mythology of human superiority justifies their doing whatever they please with the world, just the way Hitler’s mythology of Aryan superiority justified his doing whatever he pleased with Europe. But in the end this mythology is not deeply satisfying. The Takers are a profoundly lonely people. The world for them is enemy territory, and they live in it like an army of occupation, alienated and isolated by their extraordinary specialness.”

I highly reccommend this book! Also, a while ago I started talking online to an anti-civilizationist who lived in Montreal, and finally arranged to meet him and his friend, who is also a green anarchist, along with my sister (who, although she doesn't call herself one, also holds the beliefs of a green anarchist) yesterday. We had a lovely afternoon just sitting in the sun and talking, and some of the conversations continue to be turned around in my head... For instance, although I follow some feminist blogs and such, I haven't really looked into feminism, or thought about it much at all, which seems strange considering that I'm a woman with very strong views. But one of the people I met yesterday is a feminsit, and what she had to say really got me thinking... I think I'll have to write a post about gender roles in our society very soon, since tht's something I find very interesting...

Also, in reading, and talking to people, and living, it seems to me that we, as a culture, are really on the cusp of something. More and more people are realizing just how serious our situation as a species is, and more and more people are realizing that changing a few things will come no where near solving the entire problem. Far more drastic changes must happen. And so the green anarchist movement grows... I don't know what's in the future, but every time I find someone else who sees the reality of our situatuation, I feel energized, hopeful, and more willing and able to take on whatever the future may bring.

It's Spring. A time of birth, of beginnings. May this Springtime herald wonderful things, meaningful change, love, happiness. I love Spring.

Peace,
Idzie

Several things that make life pretty good right now

I just came in from a quick grocery store run, and as my mom and I pulled into the driveway, we saw a Robin just a little ways along the street! Now, as you probably know, Robins are a sure sign of Spring. And then to make things even better, when I got out of the car, I heard a sound that I'm very familiar with: geese! And sure enough, when I looked up I saw the distinctive V formations heading across the sky. When the Canada Geese come back, it means Spring is here! Woo hoo! I walked into the house with a huge smile on my face.

Also, an unschooling friend is coming to visit in early April, which makes me very happy! We can wander around downtown Montreal, sit around by the water, or simply chill in my room listening to music. Whatever we end up occupying our time with, I'm sure we'll have a good time!

Another thing that's been making me very happy lately is music. I'm in love with virtually all types of music, but something I love particularly is Celtic inspired rock and folk. Most of my favorite songs are Celtic inspired. I just love it. So here are a few wonderful songs in that category that you may want to check out...

The Bard's Song by Blind Guardian
The Islander by Nightwish
Loser by Ayreon

Other than that, my life is too quiet. I'm bored. So I need to think of some new activities to start, some new things to do... Hopefully I'll come up with some things soon, before I go entirely out of my mind! ;-)

EDIT: Oh oh, and I also really enjoyed dressing nicely last night! I'd gotten very used to just throwing my clothes on with no attention to what actually makes me happy, but last night I pulled out some of my punk and goth type stuff and felt that I looked very nice. I really do have to put the effort into my outfits, because I feel so much happier, and much more confident, when I feel like my clothes not only look good, but also reflect my personality and individuality. I changed my blogger profile pic to one from last night. :-)

Peace,
Idzie

What life looked like today

My family got some very bad news yesterday. If you're friends with me on Facebook, you'll probably know what that news was. I'd love to blog about it as well, since to me, blogging is a great outlet, but before putting that news on the net for anyone to view, I think I should check with the person who's bad news it was. So for now, just know that my family is going through a bit of a rough patch, but I'm doing okay, and keeping some mental distance. When I need to think about it, I do, but otherwise, I'm distracting myself, and just going on with life how I normally do.

I could write 'what unschooling looked like today', but I came to a realization just a little while ago; there is no 'what unschooling looked like today'. There's only what LIFE looked like today. Learning IS living, and living IS learning, so why differentiate between the two? If I'm living, I'm learning, and obviously if I'm learning, I'm living! So what did life look like today? So far, I read a bunch of blogs, mainly on unschooling. I read some of Endgame, and thanks to that book, I decided to take a walk.

I love where I live. I love being so close to the water. So that's where I walked, down to the water. It's a bright day today (although as I speak the sun is starting to go down), and fairly warm, with the snow starting to melt. However, the wind is strong, and makes it feel MUCH colder. It was a spur of the moment decision to go for a walk, so of course I didn't even bother changing out of my PJ's before going out! I simply put on my coat, wrapped myself up in my stripey wool scarf, slung my camera over my shoulder, and started out. (I wanted to show you some pictures I took, but blogger isn't cooperating. :-( ) I walked along, huddled in my coat, pretty much just looking at the ground, and in that position I couldn't help but notice how all of the snow was glittering. It was melting a bit today. But since it was still cold, there was lots of ice. Marvelous, glittery, slippery ice. I stopped to take a picture of a random chunk of ice on the street, and I'm very happy with how that shot turned out. :-) I'll use that shot for my photography blog today, and I'll post all the pictures that I wanted to in a separate post when blogger starts working properly. As I walked, I let my mind drift... I listened to the cars go by, and the wind passing by, and saw the beautiful sunlight streaming down... When I got to the water, I had to navigate the ice before I could get to the shore and the patch of grass (actual grass!) where the snow had melted. Just as I got near the shore, the wind suddenly picked up, making my loose pajama pants billow like crazy, and the leaves that had somehow managed to cling to a dead branch rustle wildly. What a lovely welcome! Everything was ice bright, and I quickly started snapping pictures. Note to self: next time I want to take pictures when it's cold out, I should find proper gloves, instead of wearing a ratty old pair of mittens that the wind cuts right through. My hands got pretty cold pretty fast, so I decided to head back. Just as I started to walk away, the wind gusted once more, pushing me away from the water. I love the wind! :-) I was so lost in thought on the way home that I actually walked past my house!

I don't see how anyone could ever not love life, when there's crunchy ice to be cracked, rocks to be kicked, wind to be raced with, clouds to be watched... This was one of those Winter days that lets you know that Spring is on the way. Sure, there will probably be more snowfalls, and there will definitely be many more cold days, but Spring is still on the horizon, moving steadily closer. Everything is just so damn wonderful.

I picked up the mail on my way in, and discovered that my Yukon travel booklet had arrived! I now have travel information from New Mexico, Newfoundland, BC, and the Yukon. So far, the places I want to go to most are Newfoundland and BC. I find it funny that I literally chose the two places that are farthest appart. One on the eat coast of Canada, one on the west!

And that's pretty much it. I continue to read Endgame, and look at the travel info... My family has decided we need to go to more unschooling conferences, and so far we're looking mainly at the Northeastern, We Shine, and Toronto unschooling conferences. Cost is a big issue, and so far We Shine seems o be the best for that... I know that most unschoolers who read my blog are west coasters, but I still have to ask, is anyone else looking into those conferences? It would be awesome to run into people I know online! :-D

Peace,
Idzie

Gratefulness

For a while now I've had the idea to write a blog post about some of the numerous things I'm grateful for. Not thankful, that sounds mildly snobbish to me, or at the very least obnoxious (no offense to anyone one else who uses it... I just have some bad connotations attached to it in my head :-S). Just the things that make me whole, make me happy, make me feel immensely grateful to be a part of this world. This has nothing to do with Thanksgiving, since the Canadian one has passed (I was too busy making delicious food to think of anything else I was thankful for other than food!), and I don't celebrate the American thanksgiving. It's simply something that's been floating around in my head, so I decided to write it down.

I am immensely grateful for:

• Warm fuzzy cat-family that climbs on my shoulder or lap and vibrates with happiness, lovingly blinking or eyes shut in contentment. Being poked with a cold little nose and licked by a tongue rough as sandpaper when it's decided I need to be groomed. Smooth whiskers and soft fur.
  
• Big clumsy dogs, and little bouncy ones. Hugging the dogs, and getting kissed nearly to death. Playing hide-and-go-seek with Winston and Flora, and the excitement on their faces when they find me. Cuddling on the floor with them both. Shared looks of love.
  
• The freedom to see that we're not free.
• Unschooling. Being able to learn what I want, when I want. Getting to explore the world on my own terms.
• Autumn, with the smell of woodsmoke on the air, the crisp wind, the trees that dazzle as they flutter in the wind, orange and red and yellow and green. The smell of Fall! Racing the wind and losing, exulting as your spirit races still. The sound of leaves skittering over the pavement. The clear sky and cold stars.
  
• Winter. Walking at night over fresh fallen snow, the streetlamps turning the ground into a billion glittering ice-cold shards of snow. How everything is muffled, and when I turn around, my bootprints, and the prints of my companions, are the only thing that mars the otherwise untouched blanket of whiteness. Singing Christmas songs as we walk home, laughing as the snowflakes catch on our eyelashes and sting our cheeks. Huge fluffy flakes that make perfect snowballs. Curling up in front of the wood stove on the coldest, darkest nights.
  
• Spring, when the snow finally melts, and the rivulets of melting snow make their own miniature water-ways. The constant drip as icicles steadily shrink. The first blades of grass when the snow is all gone. The sweet smell of melting earth. The first dandelions, picked and put in water, yellow bright and cheery. The first bugs, met with much excitement. Sunbathing in front of the window, so happy to have the beautiful yellow beams of light replacing the cool blue of Winter.
  
• Summer sun, lazy days spent soaking up the heat. The feeling of relaxation and community that seems to happen when school is out and everyone has the freedom to hang out (almost) as much as they want. Beautiful gardens that fill my heart with joy. The springy feeling of grass when you run or sit on it. Sitting on the sun warmed front steps, watching the sun set. The smell of sun and earth.
• Night time. Nights when spirits seem to fly, when my heart feels so full of joy it might burst. Walking through the shadows, voices hushed as secrets fall softly on the still air. Nights spent running around laughing, singing full volume, ruining the silence and most likely waking someone or other up. Nights spent sitting in darkness on the roof of the car, watching the leaves dancing as some unknown presence spins by. Nights spent looking up at the moon, and the stars.
• Cooking. The feeling of pride when a recipe of my own invention actually tastes as good as I'd imagined. Good cookware and knives (which make me way happier than such mundane items should!). Opening the pantry and feeling my heart lift at all the rows of food stuff just waiting to be made into a terrific meal.
• Reading books that open my eyes to the world, that let me see things in a new way, that bring me great joy, and great sadness.
  
• Writing poetry, seeing my soul pour out in the scribbled pen marks on a page. The feelings I get while I'm writing. The feeling of satisfaction and mixed emotions I get when I finish a poem. The pride I feel when I actually like a poem I've written!
• My sister, who is truly my best friend in the world, and with whom I can share anything. The beautiful open-hearted conversations we have while lying in bed that last well into the night and early morning.
• My father, who teases me mercilessly and whom I regularly get into mock fights with. The jokes we make and the quiet companionship we share. The look of pride and affection on his face as he looks at me, and how I can almost always make him laugh.
  
• My mother, who genuinely agrees with my opinions more often then anyone else. Who will ALWAYS give a hug when needed. Whom I love talking with every day. Who is the most amazing mother ever.
• The unconditional love I get from all my family.
• Friends that squabble constantly, whom I get mad at, then forgive. Who get mad at me, then forgive me. The countless conversations we've had. The times I've laughed until I hurt from their antics. Games of Shark in the basement, walks in the woods, and cuddling in people piles.
• Friends that I've never met, friends I want to meet, people I want to get to know better, and people I'll never meet, yet still have a special place in my heart and memories.
  
• The whole damn world, which never ceases to amaze and fascinate me.

I know I'm missing a million things. I know that there are soooo many things I'll remember later and and kick myself for forgetting to add. I think this also ended up mushier then I intended, but what can I do. It made me happy while writing it. :-) Ooh, there's another thing I'm grateful for: Blogging!

Peace,
Idzie