My 18th Birthday, and St. Pat's day!

Yesterday was my 18th Birthday. In some ways, it seems rather surreal that I've been around this earth for 18 years. In other ways, it seems like no big deal. Nothing much has changed. I'm the same person I was two days ago, despite the change in age! Yet since my 17th Birthday, so so much has changed.

It's been years since I was actually happy on my Birthday... Throughout most of my teen years, my Birthday stood as a reminder of all the things I hadn't done. One more year where my life wasn't where I wanted it to be. But as I'm sure I mentioned before, this past year, especially the past 8 months, has held so much change, and lead to such a different perspective on life, on who I am, and on what I want. I'm no longer pining over what has yet to happen. Sure, there are still plenty of things I want to do, but I will do them. And for now, I'm happy at where I am in life, and content that I'll figure out where I'm going. So this Birthday, I went outside, breathed in the beautiful Spring air, played music, and laughed. Life is good.

I've never been much of a St. Patrick's Day celebrator, although I certainly have Irish ancestry, and love Celtic culture and music. So although I'm not doing much to actually celebrate today, I wish you a Happy, joy filled St Patrick's Day, and leave you with this song, 'The Night That Patty Murphy Died' by Great Big Sea.



Peace, love, and happiness,
Idzie

A perfectly lovely day

Today was, and continues to be, marvelous.

I stayed up until a bit past 4:00 am last night (morning), so didn't wake up until about 12:30. When I got up at 1:00, my parents were heading out the door to go downtown and pick up a large order of handmade soaps and similar items, which have been popular gift items for the last few years with our family. I decided to come along, so brushed my teeth and got dressed at super speed, grabbed a car mug of tea, then off we went! It was beautiful weather today. Bright, crisp, and cold. We had a bit of trouble finding the place, since in the past we've bought either from a table at a bazaar or through the internet, but we finally found the Mooka storefront after a bit of time spent getting lost and a little extra searching! It was wonderful in there. Simple, and virtually undecorated (it's only recently the owner got her own space) the walls were lined with all of the wonderful shea butter soaps, bath bombs, body butters, lip balms, and perfume oils. When I spotted the perfume oils, I oohed and promptly proceded to smell them all. I should explain at this point that both my mother and sister are allergic to all synthetic scents, as well as some natural ones, so I've never worn perfume. It's only in the last few years that I've started to use even naturally scented things (soap, shampoo, handcream). Mooka has mostly naturally scented stuff, so my mom can use a few of the soaps, and the ones that are too scented for her to use, we give as gifts. So anyway, after finding a favorite perfume oil of Cotton Blossom & Aloe, my mom very sweetly (no pun intended) offered to buy me a sample and see if she could tolerate it. She can! I've been wearing it since I got home, and although she had me wash it off at first, the slightly fainter smell that's left behind (it doesn't wash off well) doesn't bother her at all, which is great! Emi says it smells weird (she's even pickier about scents than my mom), but it doesn't give her a headache so all good! The lady who runs the company is quite nice, and we love the amazing customer service as well as the products! After we left there, with some free samples of the mango body butter in my purse, which I also love, we stopped at the bulk food store. I love the smell of that place! It smells of spices and coffee and tea and other yummy stuff, and we left with lots of gourmet hot chocolate mix, teas, and chocolate. Yummy. There was also much joking around. The elderly lady behind us in line seemed to find the three of us quite precious!

When we got home, my mother and I went through the now yearly ritual of taking out all the lip balms and soaps, smelling them, and starting to decide which ones go to which relatives. I want the avocado & aloe and the patchouli & hemp ones, and I'm going to try hard to convince my mom she won't be allergic to them!

On the way home I volunteered to cook supper, so I did. I used a bottle of sun dried tomato sauce as a base, then added a ton of onions, black and green olives, and capers, and served that over fettuchini. It was good, and there were no complaints! During supper I made a deal with my mom that if she washes my dishes each day, I'll cook supper each night. It seems like a rather daunting task to me, but I HATE washing dishes, and we can always trade back.

Things did get tense at a few points once we got home, but I managed to cheer everyone up with my infectiously exuberant happiness. :-P I discovered that I can do a happiness transfer with both my mother and sister, although it's not really a transfer since I actually gain happiness from cheering them up!

I feel in a really Christmasey mood. I smiled at people in the street, and now I've been bouncing around ever since I got home. Emi thinks I got high from the perfume, but I disagree. My family always finds it funny that many people who don't know me well think that I'm quiet and serious, since nothing could be further from the truth! I get in completely crazy hyper moods and seriously act like I've been abusing illegal substances, and I'm just a generally bouncy and random person. Thing is, I'm only like that around people I know well, so most people are still in the dark about the real me... :-P

Oh! And I've always wondered what a Mo is. You always see clothing that's made out of Mohair, but I've never seen a Mo before!! Finally, my mom looked it up and apparently a Mo is also called an Angora Goat. It is so freaking cute!!

I'm going to get a pet Mo someday. And call him Mo. Then I can honestly say the cool things I make out of his hair are made out of Mo's hair!! That would be totally awesome.

So anyway, I think I'll head off to continue bouncing around pointlessly and falling over laughing when I do stupid yet amazingly fun things now. Nick just came over, so I should probably socialize as well.

May you all be full of holiday cheer, or just plain cheer if you're not currently celebrating any holidays! :-P

Peace, and with much hyper happy silliness,
Idzie

Gratefulness

For a while now I've had the idea to write a blog post about some of the numerous things I'm grateful for. Not thankful, that sounds mildly snobbish to me, or at the very least obnoxious (no offense to anyone one else who uses it... I just have some bad connotations attached to it in my head :-S). Just the things that make me whole, make me happy, make me feel immensely grateful to be a part of this world. This has nothing to do with Thanksgiving, since the Canadian one has passed (I was too busy making delicious food to think of anything else I was thankful for other than food!), and I don't celebrate the American thanksgiving. It's simply something that's been floating around in my head, so I decided to write it down.

I am immensely grateful for:

• Warm fuzzy cat-family that climbs on my shoulder or lap and vibrates with happiness, lovingly blinking or eyes shut in contentment. Being poked with a cold little nose and licked by a tongue rough as sandpaper when it's decided I need to be groomed. Smooth whiskers and soft fur.
  
• Big clumsy dogs, and little bouncy ones. Hugging the dogs, and getting kissed nearly to death. Playing hide-and-go-seek with Winston and Flora, and the excitement on their faces when they find me. Cuddling on the floor with them both. Shared looks of love.
  
• The freedom to see that we're not free.
• Unschooling. Being able to learn what I want, when I want. Getting to explore the world on my own terms.
• Autumn, with the smell of woodsmoke on the air, the crisp wind, the trees that dazzle as they flutter in the wind, orange and red and yellow and green. The smell of Fall! Racing the wind and losing, exulting as your spirit races still. The sound of leaves skittering over the pavement. The clear sky and cold stars.
  
• Winter. Walking at night over fresh fallen snow, the streetlamps turning the ground into a billion glittering ice-cold shards of snow. How everything is muffled, and when I turn around, my bootprints, and the prints of my companions, are the only thing that mars the otherwise untouched blanket of whiteness. Singing Christmas songs as we walk home, laughing as the snowflakes catch on our eyelashes and sting our cheeks. Huge fluffy flakes that make perfect snowballs. Curling up in front of the wood stove on the coldest, darkest nights.
  
• Spring, when the snow finally melts, and the rivulets of melting snow make their own miniature water-ways. The constant drip as icicles steadily shrink. The first blades of grass when the snow is all gone. The sweet smell of melting earth. The first dandelions, picked and put in water, yellow bright and cheery. The first bugs, met with much excitement. Sunbathing in front of the window, so happy to have the beautiful yellow beams of light replacing the cool blue of Winter.
  
• Summer sun, lazy days spent soaking up the heat. The feeling of relaxation and community that seems to happen when school is out and everyone has the freedom to hang out (almost) as much as they want. Beautiful gardens that fill my heart with joy. The springy feeling of grass when you run or sit on it. Sitting on the sun warmed front steps, watching the sun set. The smell of sun and earth.
• Night time. Nights when spirits seem to fly, when my heart feels so full of joy it might burst. Walking through the shadows, voices hushed as secrets fall softly on the still air. Nights spent running around laughing, singing full volume, ruining the silence and most likely waking someone or other up. Nights spent sitting in darkness on the roof of the car, watching the leaves dancing as some unknown presence spins by. Nights spent looking up at the moon, and the stars.
• Cooking. The feeling of pride when a recipe of my own invention actually tastes as good as I'd imagined. Good cookware and knives (which make me way happier than such mundane items should!). Opening the pantry and feeling my heart lift at all the rows of food stuff just waiting to be made into a terrific meal.
• Reading books that open my eyes to the world, that let me see things in a new way, that bring me great joy, and great sadness.
  
• Writing poetry, seeing my soul pour out in the scribbled pen marks on a page. The feelings I get while I'm writing. The feeling of satisfaction and mixed emotions I get when I finish a poem. The pride I feel when I actually like a poem I've written!
• My sister, who is truly my best friend in the world, and with whom I can share anything. The beautiful open-hearted conversations we have while lying in bed that last well into the night and early morning.
• My father, who teases me mercilessly and whom I regularly get into mock fights with. The jokes we make and the quiet companionship we share. The look of pride and affection on his face as he looks at me, and how I can almost always make him laugh.
  
• My mother, who genuinely agrees with my opinions more often then anyone else. Who will ALWAYS give a hug when needed. Whom I love talking with every day. Who is the most amazing mother ever.
• The unconditional love I get from all my family.
• Friends that squabble constantly, whom I get mad at, then forgive. Who get mad at me, then forgive me. The countless conversations we've had. The times I've laughed until I hurt from their antics. Games of Shark in the basement, walks in the woods, and cuddling in people piles.
• Friends that I've never met, friends I want to meet, people I want to get to know better, and people I'll never meet, yet still have a special place in my heart and memories.
  
• The whole damn world, which never ceases to amaze and fascinate me.

I know I'm missing a million things. I know that there are soooo many things I'll remember later and and kick myself for forgetting to add. I think this also ended up mushier then I intended, but what can I do. It made me happy while writing it. :-) Ooh, there's another thing I'm grateful for: Blogging!

Peace,
Idzie