tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8805323468407241809.post2633003943814789307..comments2023-12-17T05:54:56.396-05:00Comments on I'm Unschooled. Yes, I Can Write.: Critiquing the Radical Unschooling Critique: Real Negatives or Gross Generalizations?Idzie Desmaraishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12782266545123946006noreply@blogger.comBlogger27125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8805323468407241809.post-6386823960154525242013-07-07T18:08:16.001-04:002013-07-07T18:08:16.001-04:00i find it rather odd to talk about not making choi...i find it rather odd to talk about not making choices for our children and not "making" them do things. Unschooling IS a choice you are making for children, just as my parents made me go to church, and moved us according to my Dad's job issues. those were big life choices they made for us.we didnt control that. just as you make the unschooling choice for your own children, unless children are actually involved in an honest, comprehensive decision about which kind of school they might like, it is still the parental "whim" that controls how a child lives until they arent children and can decide for themselves. Radical unschooling criticisms aside...it is still the parent that makes the choice. having grown up in a religious home, overtime ive learned that most "dogma" is not to be trusted....and that people who spend all their time professing their beliefs do so at the expense of actually living their lives.bethaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01694103888859495677noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8805323468407241809.post-12121821076053527202013-05-23T18:51:07.461-04:002013-05-23T18:51:07.461-04:00I know I'm a year late, but this is the freedo...I know I'm a year late, but this is the freedom, license article<br /><br />http://gyanpedia.in/Portals/0/Toys%20from%20Trash/Resources/books/Freeneillfinal.pdfranelahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00520787089218199156noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8805323468407241809.post-21803224163990265022013-05-23T18:22:59.751-04:002013-05-23T18:22:59.751-04:00I have seen so much change since the 'old days...I have seen so much change since the 'old days' of usenet support groups and can echo much of what I see voiced in the post above. The good news is there are some new groups out there who hold no leader up as a demigod. <br /><br />They have seen what happens when the newest curious community members are treated with so little respect the leader's words and websites about respect ring hollow (no matter how many times the link is posted). <br /><br />There are 'unparents' in every group, even when the behaviour is disguised as authoritarian parenting. That is not 'unschooling' behaviour. <br /><br />Find or form a group that honors each person's inner guru and their personal journey and is as respectful to new curious members as they claim to be to their children. The world will be a better place for your efforts.<br />redheadshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00188248928171411833noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8805323468407241809.post-49272674226011231482013-02-23T03:11:23.016-05:002013-02-23T03:11:23.016-05:00I was an early member of the Unschooling community...I was an early member of the Unschooling community online nearly 20 years ago, and got to be fairly close friends--online and at conferences--with most of those who now are considered RU Leaders(until I got to know them better, and truly understand the depth of their unpleasantness). I have to tell you, sadly, that everything Eli says, and others here augment, was my experience, as well. A few extraordinarily egotistical, rude, intolerant and controlling people have nearly destroyed what was once a joyful and tolerant, open-minded ideology and community. Yes, most RU groups are now dominated by rabid Unparenting Fascists. Yes, the "gurus" are rude and insensitive and extraordinarily dismissive of any questioning and disagreement. I've watched this Cult of Sandra Dodd, in particular, grow and grow, in horror. I knew her VERY well years ago,and I saw her repeatedly, time and time again, absolutely GRIND kind and well-meaning people into the ground in her desperate need for control and to bolster her own ego (she herself was the harmed product of the sort of repressive and controlling parenting that Eli quite presciently points to as being the catalyst for many RU's eventual parenting choices) She does, indeed, have cult followers who dance all over the internet in their attempts to stamp out the fires of rebellion against Their Leader. It's been sad to watch these past 15 years, but I'm encouraged by the fact that more and more of her former "groupies" have seen the light and are appalled at the harm her nasty,overwhelming need to dominate and control the entire Unschooling conversation has done to the movement, and are speaking out. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8805323468407241809.post-62075643279248778202012-06-05T17:01:13.886-04:002012-06-05T17:01:13.886-04:00What I was getting at is that my nephew is rather ...What I was getting at is that my nephew is rather young and while he understands a lot and can do a lot he just had a younger sister enter his life(I know I left that out of the previous comment) and well now he could hurt her if he decides to throw a toy, which he is very prone to do he loves to just chuck things across the room, or hit you, or steal the glasses off your face, all of these things are not okay for him to do and I guess when I say structure they generally try to redirect him rather then punish but his grandmother on his mother's side is more authoratative and that may be causing some of the behavior like you mentioned, but even with that he is still in general a good child and the more he is shown that those behaviors are not okay the less he does them.Meganhttp://www.collegeandanovel.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8805323468407241809.post-19353165052801465832012-06-03T16:21:10.445-04:002012-06-03T16:21:10.445-04:00Judging from the comment stream on this article an...Judging from the comment stream on this article and Eli's, Arp isn't the only one relating negative experiences. Are all the claims false, or is there a reason people feel alienated, judged, and in some cases attacked? I don't believe anyone has set out to hurt anyone else, but when people speak out about bad experiences, listening, hearing, and trying to understand how communication could be more successful in the future is one way to work for a positive outcome. If Eli's article was straw-mannish, I think it would have just died on the vine. Instead, several people felt empowered to speak out about their past issues, concerns, and experiences within the unschooling community, not just at conferences, but on e-lists and in support groups, which many homeschoolers and unschoolers rely on for their day-to-day lives and activities. Speaking for myself, what I would like to see in the RU movement and its leaders is an understanding that while sharing one's own beliefs about and experiences with education and child rearing is a wonderful thing, there is no one right way for everyone, and radical unschooling is not the only way to raise healthy, happy, thriving individuals. While I see the value of unschoolers gathering together at conferences and in groups to a certain extent, in the 20 years I've been involved in home education I've found much more value in groups that embrace diversity and include families with a wide range of approaches to homeschooling and child rearing.Milvanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8805323468407241809.post-25573059243814319782012-06-02T19:32:32.285-04:002012-06-02T19:32:32.285-04:00I'm pretty sure one has said anything even clo...I'm pretty sure one has said anything even close to that to you or to anyone else, Arp. Having children who could watch tv if they wanted to, I have never seen one watch tV for 24 hours EVER, and have seen them go a week without turning it on. <br /><br />"...we've got a problem.." As the claim is false, the problem is straw-mannish, but "we" don't have a problem OR a solution. Each family does what each family wants to do.<br /><br />My kids are grown and happy. People ask me for ideas and I collect and share them back out. <br /><br />I think Eli's right that there are rude and too-wild kids at conferences (and elsewhere), whose parents are not coaching them well, who are not partnering with them about courtesy and etiquette. I wish they would. I wish no unschoolers chewed with their mouths open, or said the "F" word in any hotel lobby ever. I wish more unschoolers had manners at least as nice as my own children's are. They could. (Some are more mannerly than mine, too.) There's nothing on earth suggesting that when a parent helps a child learn about the world that the world shouldn't involve honesty, compassion and good manners.Sandra Doddhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11853107998229753762noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8805323468407241809.post-57136709783180177342012-06-02T09:53:17.695-04:002012-06-02T09:53:17.695-04:00I would agree with the last poster, and certainly ...I would agree with the last poster, and certainly understand his/her need to post anonymously. When a "leader" can have the gall to tell someone that 'they don't love their child enough' for being concerned over something like watching tv 24h/day & no one bats an eyelid, we've got a problem.Arphttp://unschoolingis.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8805323468407241809.post-8686752086001569362012-06-01T19:37:27.147-04:002012-06-01T19:37:27.147-04:00My personal issue with the RU community has been w...My personal issue with the RU community has been what I consider their *extreme* loyalty to the RU "leaders" and the intense silencing and criticizing of anyone who tries to question the approach of said leaders. It's been sad and a little scary to see so many empowered parents shut off their critical thinking in deference to one or two gurus, and I decided to distance myself before I too was blindly loyal and attacking fellow parents for questioning. I have been practicing unschooling and respectful, connected parenting for over 20 years, and was also told (by many many of the RU community) that I wasn't a REAL unschooler if I didn't adhere to ALL the ideas of (and defend) the movement's leaders no matter what. When I publicly questioned that idea, I was told to go spend time with my kids instead of writing about unschooling. I saw this same pattern happen over and over again, right down to the "go spend time with your kids" line on the online groups and lists. I was specifically excluded from local gatherings, was the recipient of hate mail, and was harshly judged for all my life choices, even as I had been the one to start our local group and plan events and offer support and resources for many years. I stopped going to conferences, stopped getting online support, even stopped calling our family unschoolers, because I DID lump in all of the radical unschooling community with those I had encountered. I am glad to know that there are others who think it's OK to question, to explore what unschooling and parenting means for their life and family, over and over, in many different ways. There are many who ARE supporting newcomers (and anyone who is struggling) in kind and respectful ways, and that is the group I want to connect with, no matter what they call themselves.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8805323468407241809.post-74891264296206634002012-06-01T16:16:42.874-04:002012-06-01T16:16:42.874-04:00Hi Idzie, I have continued to think about an issue...Hi Idzie, I have continued to think about an issue, originally brought up by you and Eli, that's not specifically about radical unschooling but is about; Where do my kids and I belong, which homeschooling tribe? Does it matter? What do I do to allow us to belong? Is this OK? I would love your feedback, Idzie and any of your readers. I am really finding this a tricky problem! Very best wishes, Penny http://homeschoolingmiddleeast.wordpress.com/2012/06/01/does-hanging-out-with-other-homeschooling-tribes-and-enjoying-it-make-me-a-coward-a-terrible-role-model-for-my-children-or-worse-morally-bankrupt-month-4-of-learning-at-home/Pennyhttp://homeschoolingmiddleeast.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8805323468407241809.post-694636261867553032012-06-01T00:02:41.208-04:002012-06-01T00:02:41.208-04:00Thanks, Idzie. I think it's still boiling down...Thanks, Idzie. I think it's still boiling down to semantics. I understand the distinction you make between rules and principles and I basically agree with it, but I also don't think rules have to be defined that way. I agree that "hitting others is not allowed" as an absolute isn't good. As I said, I think rules can be flexible and evolving, and they should be, in fact. Flexibility is warranted when in any given situation, following the rule doesn't honor the intent of the rule. The intent of the rule "hitting others is not allowed" is not to make people unsafe -- in fact, it's just the opposite. Therefore, "breaking" it in self-defense wouldn't really be breaking it at all, because the intent of the rule is more important than practicing it literally all the time. As far as compelling people to do things through threat or punishment, I think that's akin to compelling people to do things for rewards -- i.e. both rely on extrinsic motivators, and I think intrinsic motivation is always better. So I do think we agree on a lot of things, I just don't have a problem with rules (or laws, for that matter). This doesn't mean I embrace all rules, or all laws -- kind of like you said with radical unschooling, specific incidences of "bad" radical unschooling doesn't necessarily negate the whole concept. I feel the same way about rules and laws.Milvanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8805323468407241809.post-1660595977383175812012-05-31T20:16:11.486-04:002012-05-31T20:16:11.486-04:00In my own experience of parenting (27 years, most ...In my own experience of parenting (27 years, most of them as a stay-at-home dad), children don't "want" boundaries. Boundaries are discovered as they explore the world. That's the optimum scenario in my view at least.<br /><br />I did read Eli Gerzon's article. I haven't, though, met enough unschoolers in real life to do more than surmise here about the problem of radical unschooling parents allowing their children to confirm society's worst fears ("You mark my words, it'll be just like Lord of the Flies!").<br /><br />I get the impression that what happens sometimes with radical unschoolers is they interpret the concept of freedom in ways that are perhaps not very sensible. Language can be vague at times and very susceptible to different interpretations.<br /><br />For example, during the nine years my now 16 year old son was "growing without school", he was free to do what he liked and to not do what he didn't like. As far as I'm concerned, there's nothing special about that. I'm sure any sensible person would prefer to spend their time doing things that are pleasant rather than things that are unpleasant. But some people might imagine that I mean my son was free to swing from the chandeliers, eat two dozen marshmallows for breakfast, or throw my collection of Frank Sinatra LPs on the fire for the fascination of watching the vinyl melt. The fact is, when good manners are both modelled and anticipated, often what my son liked to do was to please his parents. It's been my experience that when a child can see how behaving in a certain way benefits them, they're happy to do what you suggest. Who wouldn't want to do something rewarding when it's brought to their attention?<br /><br />Living without rules is certainly possible. It requires an ability to think clearly about what you want to achieve at any given moment and to improvise an appropriate strategy. It's a skill. That is, it's something that can be learned and improved upon. If you watch the TV show "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" you'll see people who are very, very good at doing this. Parents who impose structure on their child's life and demand obedience from that child have no need of the skill; but parents who allow their child optimum freedom of choice and wait for structure to emerge naturally need to be using this skill every day in my view. I think there are radical unschoolers who don't have this skill and what happens is a child is causing problems because the person responsible for modelling and anticipating beneficial social behaviour hasn't realised the necessity of acquiring the skills that are specific to their new circumstances and can only think along the lines of responses that are simply the opposite of the conventional - "Radical unschoolers don't impose rules on their children." No they don't, but they ought to be doing something in place of that.<br /><br />My ten cents worth anyway.Bob Collierhttp://www.parental-intelligence.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8805323468407241809.post-56939130607301343942012-05-31T13:58:36.384-04:002012-05-31T13:58:36.384-04:00I'm honestly really confused by what you mean ...I'm honestly really confused by what you mean by "structure"! And making more rules for someone stubborn just makes then dig in their heels and by MORE stubborn, in my experience. There are ways to live respectfully without rules, no matter what someone's personality is.Idzie Desmaraishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12782266545123946006noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8805323468407241809.post-2806014158087256112012-05-31T13:55:19.424-04:002012-05-31T13:55:19.424-04:00I really like this comment, thanks for writing it!...I really like this comment, thanks for writing it! :)Idzie Desmaraishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12782266545123946006noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8805323468407241809.post-10283637182301472912012-05-31T13:54:41.162-04:002012-05-31T13:54:41.162-04:00As I'm not part of any academic institutions a...As I'm not part of any academic institutions and don't have access to any of their libraries, reading an academic article from a journal published in '81 isn't really something I can do!Idzie Desmaraishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12782266545123946006noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8805323468407241809.post-32551410743528219412012-05-31T13:52:44.275-04:002012-05-31T13:52:44.275-04:00Yay, I'm so glad that bit really resonated wit...Yay, I'm so glad that bit really resonated with you! :) Steal away. :-PIdzie Desmaraishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12782266545123946006noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8805323468407241809.post-26340928580937598312012-05-31T13:50:54.813-04:002012-05-31T13:50:54.813-04:00Thank you for writing one of the most non-aggressi...Thank you for writing one of the most non-aggressive dissenting comments I've ever gotten! I was pondering your comment for quite a bit after I received it.<br /><br />We're always speaking or writing from our own personal experiences, what we've witnessed and felt, and I can honestly say that my experience with "rules" has not been positive. That doesn't remotely mean that everyone who has rules is a bad parent or something, it just means in my experience rules usually manifest as absolutes. And I do believe this is at least partly just an issue of semantics (I wouldn't really consider social norms and expected behavior to be rules). But... I don't know, I think there's more to the differences than just semantics. This quote by Deb Lewis really resonates with me:<br /><br /> "A principle internally motivates you to do the things that seem good and right. People develop principles by living with people with principles and seeing the real benefits of such a life.<br /><br /> A rule externally compels you, through force, threat or punishment, to do the things someone else has deemed good or right. People follow or break rules." (more here: http://sandradodd.com/rules)<br /><br />I'm not sure I'd choose the word "principles," but I think that perfectly sums up what I was imperfectly trying to get at. And I think the word choice DOES matter (though not as much as some unschooling discussions make out). The words we use shape how we think of things, and figuring out what words can best convey what we're trying to get at is important (though the words that different individuals choose as best to convey what amounts to the same thing might differ greatly).<br /><br />But... Even "hitting others is not allowed" as an absolute isn't good, to me. Not trying to nitpick, and it's probably because I have a sister very into self-defense, but NEVER hit anyone EVER can be a dangerous absolute to me. What if someone is trying to hurt you? then hitting could well be a very good response.<br /><br />I do have to agree with your last sentence, and I'm saddened by it (and definitely hope I haven't added to it!). Actions often say a lot more than words, and too often people are dismissed for using the "wrong" type of language. <br /><br />So ultimately, I'm not really sure how much of what you say I agree with, but I want to thank you again for such a thought provoking comment!Idzie Desmaraishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12782266545123946006noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8805323468407241809.post-28635405125815728812012-05-31T13:24:03.866-04:002012-05-31T13:24:03.866-04:00It's okay, I don't mind questions at all, ...It's okay, I don't mind questions at all, and you don't sound even remotely anti-unschooling!! :)<br /><br />I do want to make it clear right away though that I have NEVER said that young kids need structure, and that's not something I would say. So I think you misinterpreted that comment a bit! What I was trying to say was very simply that I recognize that young children do not have the capabilities that older people have, and thus just need...more. More time, more help, etc.<br /><br />But when it comes to specifics... Honestly, I don't feel that I have any basis or right to give advice when it comes to young kids, because I don't have any myself, and it's too long ago for me to remember being such a young child myself! I feel comfortable speaking at length and in detail about respectful parenting and unachooling with teens, because I was a teen not long ago at all, and still have teenage friends. But I don't feel comfortable talking about the specifics of living with young children.<br /><br />I'd like to direct you to a friend though, who has younger kids and is incredibly kind and insightful. Her name is Kelly Hogaboom, and she has two blogs: http://kelly.hogaboom.org/ and <br />http://underbellie.com/ and can be found on Twitter as well: https://twitter.com/#!/kellyhogaboom and https://twitter.com/#!/underbellie<br /><br />I hope you find the answers you're searching for! :)Idzie Desmaraishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12782266545123946006noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8805323468407241809.post-20762000106666964982012-05-31T13:05:11.930-04:002012-05-31T13:05:11.930-04:00I never said he was the only one to have issues wi...I never said he was the only one to have issues with intolerant unschoolers. You'll notice in my post I even mentioned that people close to me have encountered such intolerance (in one case a family member of mine was told she wasn't a "real" unschooler by someone who is very prominent in the community). What I disagreed with was the generalization (and while you say Eli was clear he wasn't talking about *all* radical unschoolers, just some, I feel he wasn't so clear about that) that radical unschoolers in general are intolerant, which I don't agree with. There are way too many cases of intolerance and unkindness which really do need to be addressed in the community, but to me it's a problem with the *community*, not with *radical unschooling*, and is definitely not a reason to dismiss the whole philosophy.<br /><br />The whole tone of your comment seems really to be coming from a place of hurt and anger, and I want to say I'm really sorry that your experience with the radical unschooling community has been so negative. <br /><br />I find it unlikely that any of the biggest unschooling advocates will change their approach anytime soon, though, and personally I just listen to the voices of those I'm most drawn to, spend time with the people I connect with most, personally do my best to be welcoming and kind to people, and just don't read, listen to, or hang out with those I've found to be less than kind!<br /><br />I feel that while I'm really not impressed with how some proponents deal with people, I try to remember that all of them have been really helpful in a lot of peoples lives, so obviously their approach works for some!Idzie Desmaraishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12782266545123946006noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8805323468407241809.post-49470548321214290442012-05-26T19:47:48.690-04:002012-05-26T19:47:48.690-04:00I hope to one day unschool the children I have, I ...I hope to one day unschool the children I have, I like the freedom it gives them in their education, however I do work with young children and well most children want boundaries, that is why at times they misbehave they are testing the limits, and when I say young I mean 18 months to about 4 or 5. I'm not saying their are not ways to give them those boundaries and the freedom to chose what they want to do I really hope to find a way with my own children, but it does depend on the child's personality and other factors. Like my nephew he is 18 months and well he need boundaries and rules he is stuburn and his parents for the most part have just let him explore his world and he is hitting his mildstones however it is becoming more and more clear that he needs structure and lots of it, now not every child is like my nephew the girl I nanny for did not and dose not need the same level of structure I can let her play and explore with little to no limits, and maybe that is what you were teying to say that everyone is different and should not be put under one term and that I agree with, but like another commenter above I do wonder what type of strucutre with no rules looks like with young children?<br /><br />Sorry for any misspellings I am dyslexic and have no spell check at the moment.Meganhttp://www.collegeandanovel.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8805323468407241809.post-48660535330237531092012-05-26T18:44:27.660-04:002012-05-26T18:44:27.660-04:00I think Milva has a great point. I think a good re...I think Milva has a great point. I think a good read on the subject of freedom is 'Freedom, License, and A.S. Neill' by Richard Barrett in the Oxford Review of Education, 7(2), pp157-164 (1981).Melinda Cooperhttp://www.facebook.com/liwyminoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8805323468407241809.post-57096996134987209932012-05-26T12:01:46.970-04:002012-05-26T12:01:46.970-04:00I don't usually comment, but I read your secti...I don't usually comment, but I read your section about "bad crowds" and literally said out loud, "Oh my goodness I LOVE you..." in a fairly exhasperated tone. I've been trying to word how I feel about that sort of stereotype to my friends and families for a while now, and that is the best verbiage use I've found so far.<br /><br />All that to say I plan on stealing this. A lot. Thanks!SocksofGranduerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15250662417523926539noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8805323468407241809.post-43119150512714972912012-05-26T09:53:16.730-04:002012-05-26T09:53:16.730-04:00Rules can but don't have to be absolutes -- li...Rules can but don't have to be absolutes -- like everything else, they can be good or bad, and they can also be flexible and evolving. On the other hand, saying all rules are always bad is an absolute (it's also a contradiction to your earlier statement that there are "lots of things that aren't okay.") If radical unschoolers take classes or go out into the community at all, they have to abide by rules. Their parents abide by rules all the time -- they stop at red lights, pay for their groceries, etc.etc., not to mention all the unspoken rules people follow all the time, such as social norms (even if unschoolers are eschewing mainstream social norms, they're creating their own). I think there may be an issue of semantics here, which I see as a big problem in many discussions about unschooling. When you say that there are some things that aren't okay, and people should be held accountable for unkind behavior, you might call those something else, but I and many others who don't think it's a bad word would call them rules (of course people may respond differently to violations of rules, so maybe what you're addressing isn't really the issue of rules, but rather consequences?). For example, based on what you've written, I think it's fair to say you agree with the tenet that hitting other people is unacceptable. So do I. In my house, "hitting others is not allowed" is a rule. It's not written down, or proclaimed or formalized in any way, but it's still a rule. I think approaching the subject of rules in an abstract and absolute way ("rules are always bad") detracts from the issues you're trying to address. I think that many parents who already embrace and actually would agree with whole life unschooling philosophies end up feeling aliented by them because of semantics.Milvanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8805323468407241809.post-77735885181451564942012-05-25T23:45:41.765-04:002012-05-25T23:45:41.765-04:00If I may ask a question and I hope it does not off...If I may ask a question and I hope it does not offend you or come off as anti-unschooling. I am new to unschooling and still have many doubts so please do not construe my naivety with disdain or something along those lines. In your post you state that while do not agree with, "traditional parenting of young kids AT ALL," you feel they need structure. Could you please expand on this structure more and what you feel they need that is not too stifling but gives them direction and focus while still retaining their freedom?Tiffany Olverahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06060597411977389658noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8805323468407241809.post-44373210279355210492012-05-25T22:45:08.884-04:002012-05-25T22:45:08.884-04:00Yes, yes, yes! There are some parents -- in my ex...Yes, yes, yes! There are some parents -- in my experience they are in the minority, but often the ones most desirous of being seen -- who largely fail to help their child navigate social situations, and allow them to engage in dangerous, unkind, hurtful behavior to other people. <br /><br />I've also seen people new to unschooling (and even some not so new, but less radical) turned away from radical unschooling by the more vocal advocates of unschooling. As a friend said to me, "for people who are all about not having rules, there sure are a lot of rules about who can call themselves unschoolers." <br /><br />Eli generalized and painted too many whole-life unschoolers (I don't use radical myself) with a very broad brush. Not having rules doesn't mean I don't tell my child it's not acceptable to hit other people, or be unkind to others, or to steal things. It means we talk about the principle behind why those actions are culturally unacceptable. <br /><br />Whole-life (radical) unschooling isn't synonymous with unparenting. I've seen plenty of parents who aren't unschoolers who unparent their children.Sylviahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01930798447118770935noreply@blogger.com